tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54704963351957817482024-03-14T04:28:12.600-07:00P@rentProofInsight, hindsight, reflections and news on the grand adventure of parenting adolescents...and beyondAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-89771540461829061572017-07-13T13:06:00.004-07:002017-07-13T13:13:12.666-07:00JUST SEX<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">NPR’s “Hidden Brain” offers a stunning podcast called “Just
Sex” about the hook-up culture among young people and the difference between
serious sober sex with someone they like and casual, often drunken sex with
someone they don’t care about. The primary focus is on college students, but it
references the early starts in high school, the relationship to rape culture,
the relationship between casual sex and the perception of feminine power,
approaching sexuality as a way to be liberated as men do, the bad girl vs. good
girls. Host Shankar Vedantam notes, “You’re going through the hook-up culture
to try to find a relationship, but the rules demand that you can’t actually ask
for one.” It examines the troubling disconnect between sex and real intimacy, the
genuine relationships that are kind, supportive, loving. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sociologist Lisa Wade believes the pervasive hookup culture
on campuses today is different from that faced by previous generations, somehow
convincing students to be embarrassed for having authentic feelings and wanting
real connections. It’s worth a listen -- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>episode 61: “Just Sex.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-89509634353050539582017-03-07T15:39:00.000-08:002017-03-07T15:39:27.148-08:00THE POWER OF PEACEFUL PROTEST<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a native Southerner, I've always had a bee in my bonnet about the South's shameful history of slavery, and I instinctively recoil every time I see a Confederate flag. But Kay Lazar's excellent </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">article in today's Boston Globe about folks respectfully, and apparently successfully, engaging with their neighbors about what many view as a hateful symbol of racism is very inspiring. It really showcases the power of peaceful protest and thoughtful discourse, ideals we should definitely be passing on to kids in these turbulent, divisive times. <a href="http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2017/03/06/confederate-flag-appears-symbol-hate-conversation-hope/U4Nj3vUUCopdKgSS5qzQZM/story.html" target="_blank">Check it out...</a></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-4603135902704338212017-03-07T14:33:00.002-08:002017-03-07T14:34:39.502-08:00NOT JUST DATING ADVICE...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJGbgfEBi61dvmAgYV-fgmcrO3xp2K4PhDEH0-BMCW3ROJp9PKxNN4G1kZVW4MwjyYWmsatx0wa7hgBCpiKwOju01TVV0VDN4GmswysSfjZY3BJEfSQ3_b0QSU-i3DowuloBq0bjiFXW41/s1600/imgres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJGbgfEBi61dvmAgYV-fgmcrO3xp2K4PhDEH0-BMCW3ROJp9PKxNN4G1kZVW4MwjyYWmsatx0wa7hgBCpiKwOju01TVV0VDN4GmswysSfjZY3BJEfSQ3_b0QSU-i3DowuloBq0bjiFXW41/s1600/imgres.jpg" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Love this!!! We should all write a little something like this to both sons and daughters...</span><br />
<a href="http://grownandflown.com/dating-lessons-sons/" rel="nofollow noopener" style="background-color: white; color: #365899; cursor: pointer; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://grownandflown.com/dating-lessons-sons/</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-78211565645979920722017-01-17T07:15:00.003-08:002017-01-17T07:16:48.675-08:00EVEN TODDLERS CAN SHOW MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I read a <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/mental-illness-in-kids-surprising-warning-signs.aspx" target="_blank">provocative article</a> recently that says while one in five children, even toddlers, exhibit signs of mental health issues, many fail to get help under their parents' assumption that "They will grow out of it." So what are some of the <a href="http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/mental-illness-in-kids-surprising-warning-signs.aspx" target="_blank">warning signs</a> to be aware of?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-26918497015196096032017-01-15T14:47:00.000-08:002017-01-15T14:50:42.473-08:00TEENS DRINK TO GET DRUNK<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPqdCtlu0Xja-jJhgJTfmXrYJrifUCjV_JxS4noyhRx468dGg7gHU9JULhyphenhyphenvLWwW6j5JJqAVIMRoEM0EP7j8SLoCw-nfXGWYE6o0R50UHXZIy0JGFKD7jOYFug8TQ1YSCHbQL5fup-roNH/s1600/imgres-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPqdCtlu0Xja-jJhgJTfmXrYJrifUCjV_JxS4noyhRx468dGg7gHU9JULhyphenhyphenvLWwW6j5JJqAVIMRoEM0EP7j8SLoCw-nfXGWYE6o0R50UHXZIy0JGFKD7jOYFug8TQ1YSCHbQL5fup-roNH/s1600/imgres-1.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most adults I know find alcohol to be effective social lubricant to
help relax inhibitions at parties and make socializing seem more fun -- a glass of wine or two, maybe a couple of beers can make a gathering seem more festive. Teens
often feel that way, too. However, there is one major disconnect – teens report that when they drink, they're not savoring a fine wine's bouquet or the body of a hearty ale. When teens drink, they generally<b> <i>drink to get drunk, </i></b></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">and this can often hit the level of </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">binge drinking (four drinks for girls, five for boys, in less than two hours)?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> Locally, teens say it happens nearly every weekend, often involving hard alcohol, and it can have dangerous effects on the developing brain. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">This was one of the most pressing concerns of the recent Brookline community <b>Wellness Summit, </b>and it resulted in Brookline Parent Education Network's new Parent Update on <a href="http://www.b-pen.org/uploads/2/9/2/9/2929884/alcohol_with_textbox.pdf">“Teens & Alcohol,”</a> which includes facts, resources, tips, and strategies outlined by the forum to help keep teens safe. It's worth checking out...</span></div>
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</style>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-3616772093900328222017-01-14T09:43:00.000-08:002017-01-14T09:46:01.870-08:00FAKE NEWS IS BAD NEWS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ1n0exiWRA2ujAdNfoAri3nGF2TQtXpqOF09bsU1aOe4qY0iz4C-G9HmOnvBPg3MlYkWFdNBp4QsHitlCLtSIZJ9x2rZbFN1zMs74mNVAsHayNDa3w3qIC8IDMCoj4vWpDpgzYMprvERg/s1600/fake-news.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ1n0exiWRA2ujAdNfoAri3nGF2TQtXpqOF09bsU1aOe4qY0iz4C-G9HmOnvBPg3MlYkWFdNBp4QsHitlCLtSIZJ9x2rZbFN1zMs74mNVAsHayNDa3w3qIC8IDMCoj4vWpDpgzYMprvERg/s200/fake-news.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There it was in black and white on a sidebar as I was doing internet research -- the news that the world was mourning the death of Katie Couric, complete with a smiling photo of the much-admired news journalist. I admit it -- I was completely taken in. A friend of Couric's sister, I'd not yet heard the terrible news, and for a brief moment, I was shocked and saddened. Then the "Wait a minute" skepticism kicked in. Fake news strikes again.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If a seasoned journalist can be misled by a sensational headline, imagine how impressionable adolescents can be drawn in to the murky world of fake news, from celebrity deaths and misdeeds to horrifying tales of injustice to completely unverified statements posing as facts being spewed by anyone with access to a computer or microphone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Common Sense Media offers an excellent primer on <a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/how-to-spot-fake-news-and-teach-kids-to-be-media-savvy?utm_source=DigCit_Tips_2016_11_30&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weekly#" target="_blank">"How to Spot Fake News" </a>that's worth checking out -- for yourself, and for your kids.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/how-to-spot-fake-news-and-teach-kids-to-be-media-savvy?utm_source=DigCit_Tips_2016_11_30&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weekly#" target="_blank">https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/how-to-spot-fake-news-and-teach-kids-to-be-media-savvy?utm_source=DigCit_Tips_2016_11_30&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=weekly# </a></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-88704495098957804282017-01-13T13:51:00.002-08:002017-01-15T14:51:56.262-08:00THE PERILS OF PC<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">“Mom, we don’t use the word
homosexual anymore.” Oh, okay. My bad.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWqTsnWhWa3kuEnz1r4I1UgqX1oKNJTSvirBplqmc39QF9c-O6FrywRS7hMV1cmhIhdTaTsq8-chQauSs40SEkr_2GYes2O_zaxNwyXhnu0ed0WMESgdSFxlobSHWOWgFVs_0VZCyy8zt/s1600/imgres.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXWqTsnWhWa3kuEnz1r4I1UgqX1oKNJTSvirBplqmc39QF9c-O6FrywRS7hMV1cmhIhdTaTsq8-chQauSs40SEkr_2GYes2O_zaxNwyXhnu0ed0WMESgdSFxlobSHWOWgFVs_0VZCyy8zt/s1600/imgres.png" /></span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: xx-small;">Not the first time my kids have
challenged my political correctness. And I’m sure it won’t be the last. In today’s
extraordinarily diverse world, the usual challenges of adolescent parenting are
amplified when we take into account not just differences of race, cultural
background, and religion, but differences in learning and physical abilities,
socio-economic situations, the gender spectrum, and more. While kids might be
dealing with this diversity every day, sometimes parents can be a little more
isolated. Friend and work connections may be more homogenous, making it tricky
to be up-to-date on appropriate terminology and understanding outside our daily
spheres of influences. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Recently Brookline Parent
Education parent liaison Elvira Perez put together a terrific little guide of
some basics, <a href="http://www.b-pen.org/uploads/2/9/2/9/2929884/diversity_tip_sheet.docx_rev_1.pdf" target="_blank">“A Parent-to-Parent Tip Sheet on Diversity & CulturalCompetency.” </a>It’s by no means exhaustive, but offers a lot of food for thought,
especially as we approach Martin Luther King Day</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;">…</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-41824951461718772282015-09-02T12:50:00.002-07:002015-09-02T12:50:45.196-07:00CELEBRATING AUTHENTICITY<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-4856048018976503200" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 590px;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><a href="http://www.gbpflag.org/supportgroups" style="color: #0081cd; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">PFLAG</a> recently released an excellent new publication </span><strong style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><a href="https://community.pflag.org/document.doc?id=921&erid=8432526" style="color: #906780; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #c23b3b;"> </span><span style="color: blue;">"OUR TRANS LOVED ONES: </span></a></strong><span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><a href="https://community.pflag.org/document.doc?id=921&erid=8432526" style="color: #906780; text-decoration: none;">QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR PARENTS, FAMILIES, AND FRIENDS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE TRANSGENDER AND GENDER EXPANSIVE</a>”</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span></span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">that beautifully addresses some of the issues families face, serving as a supportive guidebook of experiences, expertise, knowledge, and resources. </span><br /><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">One paragraph serves as brilliant advice for all of us:</span><br /><div style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"><i>The most important thing for all children to know, at a very deep level, is that they are loved unconditionally. It seems like a fundamental concept of family, but when children are brave enough to look at themselves at such a deep level and share their reflections with those around them, it is crucial to remind them over and over of how proud you are of them for asserting this level of authenticity. It is the bravest thing a human being can do and when a child is celebrated for doing so by a parent, caretaker, family member, or friend, it can be heartwarming; more importantly, it can be lifesaving.</i></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-6369191829837038022015-09-02T12:49:00.002-07:002015-09-02T12:49:46.624-07:00CHECK OUT "TEEN SAFE"<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-5091944314762872084" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 590px;">
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The website <b><i>Teen Safe</i></b> (<a href="http://www.teen-safe.org/" style="color: #906780; text-decoration: none;">www.teen-safe.org</a>) is designed to foster better family communication, promote resilience and healthy activities, and reduce risky teen behaviors via true-life stories, scientific evidence, and helpful educational materials for parents and teens/pre-teens. The site offers a free 15-minute video course for parents that is quite informative about the effects of substance use on teen brain development. The section detailing the impact of early marijuana use of mental health is especially worth noting as medical marijuana is beginning to be a part of our culture. It’s only 15 minutes long, and at least one local pediatrician is asking all his patients’ parents to check it out!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-21868189184139368992015-09-02T12:48:00.003-07:002015-09-02T12:48:48.364-07:00ASK THE MEDIATRICIAN<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-7058981156708979987" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.1999998092651px; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 590px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">T</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">oday, as never before, the lives of adolescents are saturated with commercial marketing, targeted through video games, the Internet, and those omnipresent mini-computers -- cell phones. The level of digital activity and saturation is daunting. But I just ran across a website (yes, I know, the internet!) that offers some measure of direct guidance for parents. </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;">Boston Children’s Hospital pediatrician Dr. Michael Rich also happens to be a media enthusiast and something of an expert on the subject. He offers advice to parents via the hospital's </span><a href="http://cmch.tv/" style="color: #0081cd; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="">Center on Media and Child Health.</a><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> Through <a href="http://cmch.tv/parents/askthemediatrician/" style="color: #0081cd; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="">“Ask the Mediatrician,”</a> parents can pose questions and get answers about how media use is affecting out children, with topics ranging from cyberbullying to the impact of multi-tasking on brain development, and he's dealing with questions both general and quite specific. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px;"> </span><a href="http://cmch.tv/parents/askthemediatrician/" style="color: #0081cd; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank" title="">Check it out.</a><span style="color: #3d85c6;">..</span><div style="clear: both;">
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-28593702370829450242015-09-02T12:47:00.002-07:002015-09-02T12:47:31.416-07:00CERTS IS NOT JUST A BREATH MINT<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI5SLqRNm6xJJ4b-cQ8bWJIAyO0NvfTmF-BE137yS2FplsErv5hb5GGHK-wWHwmFv_7yEh0_tIMLUY7GUaNTK0fYbTt_kNIm7gSDLYQC4RiFZjNPRqmLyCgvxKJtgIdySdk7wBfSeZm5Hi/s1600/boy+girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI5SLqRNm6xJJ4b-cQ8bWJIAyO0NvfTmF-BE137yS2FplsErv5hb5GGHK-wWHwmFv_7yEh0_tIMLUY7GUaNTK0fYbTt_kNIm7gSDLYQC4RiFZjNPRqmLyCgvxKJtgIdySdk7wBfSeZm5Hi/s200/boy+girl.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">The American
psychotherapist, educator and clinical social worker Wendy Maltz came up with a
dynamite little acronym for codifying the basics of healthy sexuality that
offers a terrific tool to help adolescents and their parents navigate the
gnarly ins and outs of social life. The model is <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>called CERTS, and w</span><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">hether you're sending an adolescent off to college or back
into the quagmire of middle/high school, this is a quick and easy formula to
help reinforce some basic information about healthy relationships. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When considering romantic entanglements, keep
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</span><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #666666; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><b><span style="background: white; color: #da4444; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> C</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">onsent (it needs to be <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">mutual,
sober, awake, enthusiastic, verbal</i></b> – if there are mixed messages, slow
down) </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span><b><span style="background: white; color: #da4444; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">E</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">quality </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <b> </b></span><b><span style="background: white; color: #da4444; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">R</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">espect </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span><span style="background: white; color: #da4444; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <b>T</b></span><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">rust </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span><b><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></b><b><span style="background: white; color: #da4444; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> S</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">afety </span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I’d love to see this on
every bathroom door of every school and dormitory across the country!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-90009117795825730732015-01-31T16:55:00.001-08:002015-01-31T16:55:54.646-08:00WHAT ARE WE NOT TELLING OUR KIDS?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">OK, full disclosure – I do
not have sons, so perhaps I could be chastened for not having a clue what it
takes to raise a young man in today’s culture. However, I do have two girls,
both of age, one still in college, and both – in my estimation – strong, competent,
extraordinary young women. And both, by most accounts in addition to my own,
drop dead gorgeous. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-LKQlpCtEb4ecc8kn1L4KVdrBtYcZkQxE4xHmeTPzb7WpVBr3VEARtmT3UTNtAUcRsC8qPYwpLkHaZLfrjffdIeFNgmIhHLwHK6WN4id-JPILyyKVQSseTwzESK8dq0HNN_8C-ftFT0v0/s1600/respect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-LKQlpCtEb4ecc8kn1L4KVdrBtYcZkQxE4xHmeTPzb7WpVBr3VEARtmT3UTNtAUcRsC8qPYwpLkHaZLfrjffdIeFNgmIhHLwHK6WN4id-JPILyyKVQSseTwzESK8dq0HNN_8C-ftFT0v0/s1600/respect.jpg" height="102" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">So when I read Susanna
Schrobsdorff’s <a href="http://time.com/3687286/campus-sexual-assault-teen-daughter-parents/" target="_blank">“Be Brave, Be Safe” </a>essay in this week’s Time Magazine, her
advice to her daughter on handling the dangers of sexual assault on campus
immediately resonated. I know what messages I’ve pressed on my daughters about
being aware of their vulnerability in different surroundings, dressing
appropriately, taking care in engaging with strangers, making smart decisions
despite peer pressure and a culture that tends to elevate drinking and casual
sex while devaluing loving, clear-eyed intimacy. We’ve talked about nourishing caring,
supportive friendships and finding self-esteem in being true to one’s most
essential nature. We’ve talked about kindness, generosity, respect, and I truly
believe those messages were heard and continue, for the most part, to be the
cautionary angel on their shoulders, at least subliminally if not completely
hard-wired.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">But I have to wonder – what messages
are young men hearing, especially the young college men who use the prevailing
culture of drunken tomfoolery to excuse sexual assault? Weren’t values like
kindness, respect, and self-respect imparted from toddlerhood? What happens in
adolescence when testosterone ramps up? What messages are our young men getting
– from schools, from the media, and yes, from parents? Are we dropping the ball
in the guise of “building strong men?” And why are all the “good” guys, who
wouldn’t think of having drunken sex with someone they barely know, not
stepping up, stepping in?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">“No means no” shouldn’t just
be a watch-phrase for young women. That’s a message for everyone, and young
people especially need to hear it and have the courage to say it, loud and
clear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-36198585512716150362015-01-28T09:57:00.000-08:002015-01-28T09:59:53.204-08:00E-JOINTS -- THE NEXT BIG TREND FOR TEENS?<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSXknSRYF_JFGnxd70FHzxDj47DNLrbQxy1o-tAtszyD8ejZE_-l8oc6y6sSlJMEjKkpNQyIncGl6exYY51yi8bpKdjFS7Vn_IYKvtW40h8a26MIYjJxe_pz8gUs4RPybnSTfpnKC_dsH/s1600/ejoint.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSXknSRYF_JFGnxd70FHzxDj47DNLrbQxy1o-tAtszyD8ejZE_-l8oc6y6sSlJMEjKkpNQyIncGl6exYY51yi8bpKdjFS7Vn_IYKvtW40h8a26MIYjJxe_pz8gUs4RPybnSTfpnKC_dsH/s1600/ejoint.jpg" height="106" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">The <i>New York Times</i> just
reported on the rise of <b>e-joints</b> (brand name Ju-Ju Joints). They look just like
e-cigarettes, which a new study shows teens are now using more than tobacco.
However, instead of containing liquid nicotine, these vapor pens are filled
with roughly 250 milligrams of cannabis oil loaded with THC, the
psychoactive ingredient in marijuana that "adversely affects the
developing brain, some studies have found, impairing attention and memory in
adolescents and exacerbating psychiatric problems." This has
especially disturbing implications for teens. <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/13/health/with-the-e-joint-the-smoke-clears-.html?ref=health&_r=0" target="_blank">Read the full article...</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-4982725859216879662015-01-27T16:45:00.003-08:002015-01-27T16:45:58.385-08:00CAN MULTI-TASKING LOWER OUR EFFECTIVE IQ's?<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 454.5pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOEmHFI66fzVQ1N67S1szLTX9QftgNAn2CCn0Kn6FSbXXR-59z9iDf2V5fka9gXzH87r1v1iQOre6r4oidxfzL7f1cuYfp_gxNqh9eJlWkWasUY9E2APeUVYyWCim9WRDBH4aO4Y1ozp6m/s1600/BRainjpeg.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOEmHFI66fzVQ1N67S1szLTX9QftgNAn2CCn0Kn6FSbXXR-59z9iDf2V5fka9gXzH87r1v1iQOre6r4oidxfzL7f1cuYfp_gxNqh9eJlWkWasUY9E2APeUVYyWCim9WRDBH4aO4Y1ozp6m/s1600/BRainjpeg.jpeg" height="200" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">For
years now, I’ve been beating the drum about the ineffectiveness of
multi-tasking, which we all do, especially with regards to electronics –
chatting on the phone while we’re driving or cooking or skimming through email,
reading the paper while listening to NPR, constantly interrupting any project
required sustained thought to check text messages or twitter…But in truth,
we’re not really doing several things at once. Rather the brain is shifting
quickly and constantly between separate tasks, which not only over stimulates
the brain and leads to muddled thinking but releases stress and
anxiety-producing hormones. And if we’re actually trying to learn something,
like reading important information while watching TV, the brain diverts new
information to the wrong part of the brain for proper storage and easy access.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yet the pleasure and novelty seeking parts of
our brain light up with interaction like text or email exchanges, giving us a
sense of social connection and a task completed, but leading to a kind of
neural addiction. In his fascination article in </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The Guardian</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial;">: </span><a href="http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/jan/18/modern-world-bad-for-brain-daniel-j-levitin-organized-mind-information-overload?CMP=fb_us"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Why the Modern World is Bad for Your Brain, ”</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial;"> neuroscientist Daniel J. Levitan adds, </span><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Just having the opportunity to multitask is detrimental to
cognitive performance. Glenn Wilson, former visiting professor of psychology at
Gresham College, London, calls it<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><a href="http://www.theguardian.com/money/2009/oct/05/avoid-multitasking"><span style="background: white; color: #005689; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">info-mania</span></a><span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. His
research found that being in a situation where you are trying to concentrate on
a task, and an email is sitting unread in your inbox, can reduce your effective
IQ by 10 points.”<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span class="apple-converted-space">This can have an especially profound impact on the developing brain (it's still a work in progress til around age 25), and I fear kids are actually hard-wiring their circuitry to be less able to focus on issues demanding more in-depth thinking...</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-34093616044751357442014-11-21T13:22:00.002-08:002014-11-21T13:24:55.300-08:00GOOD INFO ON PARENTING LGBTQ TEENS<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbMfY8hLB6Qw7cB1No4tIQqqGA8BvGZYhyphenhyphenCGOTsRkPKuLGFIugvLuSUhYWttLPkZ2Nz2JP6Y47lIbJWCF-lcP1zagErYw-iH0Mg_KibYel4NQy_WQ2bCEUmGEMY6V7mwp0XQ1NxRd5eZE1/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbMfY8hLB6Qw7cB1No4tIQqqGA8BvGZYhyphenhyphenCGOTsRkPKuLGFIugvLuSUhYWttLPkZ2Nz2JP6Y47lIbJWCF-lcP1zagErYw-iH0Mg_KibYel4NQy_WQ2bCEUmGEMY6V7mwp0XQ1NxRd5eZE1/s1600/images.jpg" height="198" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">In the process of gathering
information for Brookline Parent Education Network to help parents understand
some of the subtleties and complexities of growing up LGBTQ, I’ve come across
two dynamite websites. <a href="http://everyoneisgay.com/">Everyoneisgay.com</a> is geared toward teens themselves, and
it offers resources and advice about everything from how to come out to one’s
parents to sophisticated transgender issues. The other connected site is <a href="http://www.theparentsproject.com/">www.TheParentsProject.com</a>, which
provides a wealth of resources, blog posts, and opportunities to ask/answer
questions about parenting children through the often tricky process of gender
and sexuality identity. Some of the info is broad enough for all parents…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-33070444284985074782014-04-15T18:10:00.001-07:002014-04-15T18:11:35.716-07:00THE SMOKING JOINT...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHqPDeN3KdweDW7eCJ-MguBbb9kHSc2e3CzCerhq3_XsTo5bmgZg6d7WOXpqJ_cxJya8-Slyabn_yJ7xHZkRTo1Gp4JxQVogv6SyM3y26qEG1snfV8qYHQYg654E6ht4Q45Hc1IvJOVYJs/s1600/smoking+joint.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHqPDeN3KdweDW7eCJ-MguBbb9kHSc2e3CzCerhq3_XsTo5bmgZg6d7WOXpqJ_cxJya8-Slyabn_yJ7xHZkRTo1Gp4JxQVogv6SyM3y26qEG1snfV8qYHQYg654E6ht4Q45Hc1IvJOVYJs/s1600/smoking+joint.jpg" height="113" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">According to </span><span style="font-family: Times; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://time.com/61940/recreational-pot-use-harmful-to-young-peoples-brains/"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial;">an article in today's Time Magazine online</span></a></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">,
"</span><span style="background: white; color: #282828; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A study being released this week by researchers
from Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine and Harvard Medical
School has found that 18- to 25-year-olds who smoke marijuana only
recreationally showed significant abnormalities in the brain." For the
study’s purposes, “recreationally” was considered a joint or two on the
weekends, which many parents might not find any more alarming than casual beer
drinking. But the study’s findings show that even those who smoked just one
joint a week altered the density, volume, and shape of two key parts of the still
developing brain—the nucleus accumbens and the amygdala. It was a small study,
but if it shows this much impact on the brains of 18-25 year olds, imagine how
recreational marijuana use could be effecting younger, even more vulnerable
brains…</span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-59970312262572152742014-04-13T15:18:00.000-07:002014-04-13T15:18:03.454-07:00THE NATURE VS. NURTURE OF MORALITY<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve always bought into the idea of actions
speaking louder than words and the importance of being good role models for
children. But Adam Grant’s excellent piece in today’s NY Times Sunday Review, <i><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/12/opinion/sunday/raising-a-moral-child.html?emc=edit_th_20140413&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=34149681&_r=0%20" target="_blank">RAISING A MORAL CHILD</a></i>, puts some science behind it. Two ideas really stuck with me –<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>“When our actions become a reflection of our
character, we lean more heavily toward the moral and generous choices. Over
time it can become part of us.” (So, being a good person may take a little
practice, but gradually becomes ingrained…)</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Then there's this positive bit of reframing: “</span><i style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial;">Shame is the feeling that I am a bad person,
whereas guilt is the feeling that I have done a bad thing. Shame is a negative
judgment about the core self, which is devastating: Shame makes children feel
small and worthless, and they respond either by lashing out at the target or
escaping the situation altogether. In contrast, guilt is a negative judgment
about an action, which can be repaired by good behavior.”</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial;"> How we talk to kids
about their actions can be so potent, the difference between “I am disappointed
that you lied about that” vs. “I am so disappointed that you are a liar.” And
not just kids – think about how adults talk to each other. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-59106124314396092412014-03-03T14:37:00.000-08:002014-03-03T14:37:24.319-08:00MICHAEL SAM OFFERS A TEACHABLE MOMENT<div class="MsoNormal">
A decade ago, it would have been almost inconceivable for a promising college football player to “come out” as gay to his teammates, much less to the world at large just prior to the NFL draft. But University of Missouri defensive end Michael Sam’s announcement isn’t so much shocking as heartening, a sign perhaps that the culture of bias against gay people in American team athletics is waning. Sam potentially could become the first openly gay player in NFL history. </div>
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Sam’s teammates all seemed to know and be relatively comfortable with Sam’s declaration, and other teams voiced support, as did his school and many NFL players and officials. He will undoubtedly suffer repercussions from the older generation of managers and administrators – his draft stock apparently has fallen already – and he is dealing with what surely must be painful disapproval from his father. But hopefully this is mitigated by what must be enormous relief at presenting his true self to the world.</div>
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Sam’s honesty and bravery in blazing a trail along what will undoubtedly be a very bumpy road offers an ideal opportunity for talking to adolescents about the nature of personal identity and the history of bigotry. </div>
<a name='more'></a>Many kids, especially football enthusiasts, have already heard about Sam’s story and may be trying to process what they think. For those who haven’t, bringing it up in conversation can provide an excellent teachable moment about how the world works – and how it could work if we continue to fight discrimination. Leading questions can provide excellent entrees to discussion about understanding differences, about values like acceptance, tolerance, human equality.<br />
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Why do you think he made this admission? </div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What is your understanding of what “gay” means? </div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Have you ever felt like that? </div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How do you think he feels now that everybody knows? </div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Do you think this changed the way his teammates feel about him? </div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How do you think you would feel if someone you knew told you they were gay?</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Do you think this could change anything in the culture of team sports?</div>
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Change doesn’t always come from the top. It most powerfully comes from within, and our children’s attitudes and actions will shape how our country continues to develop. Michael Sam has given us a gift by putting a personal face on an issue that is surely far more common than any of us know. And by putting his story in front of the public eye, he has prompted not just reaction, but reflection and hopefully the courage for other young people to unashamedly embrace their true nature. Take the opportunity to examine your own feelings, then find a moment to chat with your children. They may surprise you…</div>
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<i>(For more information on talking to adolescents about LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bi, transgender, questioning) visit the “Healthy Relationships/LGBTQ” page of www.B-PEN.org.)</i></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-67681167291718238912013-10-22T18:53:00.000-07:002013-12-10T19:14:39.988-08:00WALKING IN ANOTHER’S SHOES<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIoiDUzvNE4if3_kQKbyiLkr1DqGVWAvrI-mRtZhHY1EYoxY-gTAkzySdxrpM5MH8st1pUHtOsvOA3J3P6gwW4u4S2JeyDSqySsRC2CtyyymBaKkYMFj4I1oqz-m9Kudu88yvppD4v8Wk/s1600/SOMEONES+SHOES.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmIoiDUzvNE4if3_kQKbyiLkr1DqGVWAvrI-mRtZhHY1EYoxY-gTAkzySdxrpM5MH8st1pUHtOsvOA3J3P6gwW4u4S2JeyDSqySsRC2CtyyymBaKkYMFj4I1oqz-m9Kudu88yvppD4v8Wk/s200/SOMEONES+SHOES.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">After felony charges were
leveled following the suicide of 12-year-old Rebecca Ann Sedwick, “On Point with
Tom Ashbrook” devoted a powerful hour of radio to the issue of cyberbullying,
examining why and how it continues to happen, and how easily and quickly bullying
and harassing can escalate into terrorizing and stalking. Guests question the
wisdom of using criminalization as a long-term strategy for deterrence. Others
bring up the empathy gap in developing teens (there are biological issues at
play) and charge media with turning cruelty and pain into entertainment. (Even
extraordinarily moronic shows like “Jersey Shore” and “Wipeout” glorify people
being mean to each other and deaden viewers from considering just how painful
some of the stunts must be.) All of this reinforces the importance of parents
not just knowing what their kids are up to online, but continuing to help their
children become moral human beings who have the ability, and willingness, to
see another perspective, to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. The episode
<a href="http://onpoint.wbur.org/2013/10/18/cyber-bully-death" target="_blank">(you can listen to it here) </a>could be a great parent/child conversation starter.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-53917291221638190162013-10-20T13:35:00.003-07:002013-10-20T13:37:54.656-07:00A FATHER BEMOANS, "MY DAUGHTER’S HOMEWORK IS KILLING ME"<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>“What happens when a father,
alarmed by his 13-year-old daughter's nightly workload, tries to do her
homework for a week?” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCH2CJOfvQIowg8t8-50aiu62C5KlTa3sv6CYe0-ZwZcAtp2TTYb5D5W5wwgQ0E9wjVirLxGpxfq8v2tfXnDLMdqj6HXPqt0kvXsTB22niLZo75l2S41uxqHxYramzEvM8-0fyMfETYhCe/s1600/homework.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCH2CJOfvQIowg8t8-50aiu62C5KlTa3sv6CYe0-ZwZcAtp2TTYb5D5W5wwgQ0E9wjVirLxGpxfq8v2tfXnDLMdqj6HXPqt0kvXsTB22niLZo75l2S41uxqHxYramzEvM8-0fyMfETYhCe/s200/homework.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Karl Taro Greenfeld’s
provocative article in <i>The Atlantic </i>recently really hammers home the problem in
this country of overcompensation in many school districts. As education in the
US tries to keep up with global competition, the trend toward more homework
seems to be heading us in the wrong direction. Greenfeld notes:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It turns out that there is
no correlation between homework and achievement. According to a 2005 study by
the Penn State professors Gerald K. LeTendre and David P. Baker, some
of the countries that score higher than the U.S. on testing in the Trends in
International Mathematics and Science Study—Japan and Denmark, for example—give
less homework, while some of those scoring lower, including Thailand and
Greece, assign more. Why pile on the homework if it doesn’t make even a
testable difference, and in fact may be harmful?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The irony is that some
countries where the school systems are held up as models for our schools have
been going in the opposite direction of the U.S., giving less homework and
implementing narrower curricula built to encourage deeper understanding rather
than broader coverage.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Certainly food for thought as
well as ammunition for parents who want to advocate for children who are losing
a large part of their precious childhoods to busywork every night. </span><a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/10/my-daughters-homework-is-killing-me/309514/3/" style="font-family: Arial;" target="_blank">Check out the full article.</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-58108158521136895802013-09-06T20:01:00.002-07:002013-09-06T20:01:49.800-07:00DIGITAL DISCONNECT
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-DJF2T4RuoyY1QSH41mTY7qZVJy5U_LLYB4rVdZK02i7qjInUfvQcGxojCsh9D0Q7RGvNi_bVDhkZEzduHSLdWcmpB6T5T3oGfE8bziWBAel0ra905NXxLa1ivTQP_eYECCTeX1a5HfxM/s1600/kids+techno.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-DJF2T4RuoyY1QSH41mTY7qZVJy5U_LLYB4rVdZK02i7qjInUfvQcGxojCsh9D0Q7RGvNi_bVDhkZEzduHSLdWcmpB6T5T3oGfE8bziWBAel0ra905NXxLa1ivTQP_eYECCTeX1a5HfxM/s1600/kids+techno.jpeg" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial;">McAfee, the online security
company, just came out with a study from April examining parents’ “digital
fatigue” in trying to monitor and stay on top of their children’s use of
digital technology, from video games to smart phones to social media. In <a href="http://www.mcafee.com/us/resources/reports/rp-digital-deception-survey.pdf" target="_blank">“Exploring the Online Disconnect between Parents & Pre-teens, Teens and Young Adults,”</a>
parents express being overwhelmed, less informed, and less tech savvy than
their children, while kids frankly admit to deceiving their parents about their
technology habits, from amount of usage to content. It’s an intriguing,
sobering study, and The Boston Globe’s Beth Teitell hits some of the high spots
in a recent article entitled <a href="http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/style/2013/09/05/age-ubiquitous-screens-some-exhuasted-parents-have-stopped-policing/wruDFQbdLFG2KdCkCPLb7L/story.html" target="_blank">“In a Digital World, Kids Gain the Upper Hand.”</a> The message from both study and article seems to be a simple reminder -- know what your kids are up to and step up to the plate to provide guidelines and limits. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-56243212161730585402013-09-02T19:34:00.001-07:002013-09-02T19:40:02.711-07:00STEPPING TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUM<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFGs0RHSjMDRN81cbA-XgVfTFxGmPC7D0snH23gFuFI-Xiyjrk96K5Cui9vEO9RASY2lHKZc6jZGZlGQftd5sSOrEsVZJCqZSBpZcZorkMfOKc6gWFK11k9QCvmWDsrpgffps98ngwN2_r/s1600/imgres-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFGs0RHSjMDRN81cbA-XgVfTFxGmPC7D0snH23gFuFI-Xiyjrk96K5Cui9vEO9RASY2lHKZc6jZGZlGQftd5sSOrEsVZJCqZSBpZcZorkMfOKc6gWFK11k9QCvmWDsrpgffps98ngwN2_r/s1600/imgres-1.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">In an interview with the
Boston Globe, actress <a href="http://bostonglobe.com/arts/movies/2012/11/10/keira-knightley-talks-anna-and-imperfections-knightley-talks-anna-and-imperfections/knKbS4jBW0df2ZSeubAnlJ/story.html">Keira
Knightly</a> talked about being drawn to imperfect faces, remembering that her
mum always said “Blessed imperfections.” I love that concept, especially when
it comes to validating the uniqueness of children pressed by society and their
peers to “fit in.” I’ve always tried to encourage my kids to step to their own
beat, accepting that the attributes that make them<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>different are what also make them special.
(This is especially helpful when you have offbeat, quirky kids, like I do.) It
is tricky, helping children value qualities that set them apart, especially
those that can be somewhat off-putting to kids their own age. But some of those
“blessed imperfections” that are so challenging to parent (stubbornness,
conviction, fierce loyalty…) are character traits that can, if properly
tempered by balance and perspective, serve them brilliantly into adulthood. So
I’ve tried to treasure them even as I’ve had to develop strategies to survive
them… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="grand"><span style="font-family: Arial;">With the
beginning of each school year, kids have the opportunity to reinvent themselves
</span></span></div>
<a name='more'></a>with new teachers, new classmates, perhaps a new look, a different attitude.
Part of it is normal exploration to answer the question,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Who do I want to be?” But as they develop,
this process hopefully leads them to their most authentic self, ultimately able
to grow more fully into who they truly are as a unique individual. It is a wise
parent who figures out how to help that flourish. As Thoreau so wisely said,
“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he
hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however
measured or far away.<span style="font-family: Arial;">”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-80978886048625241462013-08-26T14:11:00.002-07:002013-08-26T14:11:19.809-07:00WHEN I HAVE KIDS I WILL NEVER...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5mos4R7I2Ndf2p-_Jsa73w_HKnDRHeYmShftgnlTdrxgRrHNgdxkeEzX1rePxQfoEC2kOhGDhIas80cYf4MJvN4ZoFy1mi5cbwQ6v8SNJynsZ_GnX3Ikhao1z2dJh298rDk2HkgU_jjFm/s1600/feet-bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5mos4R7I2Ndf2p-_Jsa73w_HKnDRHeYmShftgnlTdrxgRrHNgdxkeEzX1rePxQfoEC2kOhGDhIas80cYf4MJvN4ZoFy1mi5cbwQ6v8SNJynsZ_GnX3Ikhao1z2dJh298rDk2HkgU_jjFm/s320/feet-bed.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Remember all those self-righteous pronouncements "we" were prone to make about parenthood and the things we would never do when we had kids -- until we actually had the squirts running underfoot and knew better? My sister just sent me a link to <a href="http://www.ivillage.com.au/when-i-have-kids-i-will-never/" target="_blank">Amy Morrison's hilarious blog entry </a>with a list of her best "aha" hypocrisy moments. Even though my sister and I are both empty nesters now, this little gem really hit home.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-71916581367601043652013-04-17T14:29:00.001-07:002013-04-17T14:29:39.970-07:00TARGETED RANDOMNESS<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">After Monday’s bombing at
the Boston Marathon, my high school senior has been anxious about venturing out
too far from home. Even though she hasn’t been pouring over newspaper accounts
and video footage, she’s really taken this to heart with it having hit so close
to home. It’s not just empathy for the victims and anger toward the cowards who
perpetrated such violence, emotions we all surely share. For teens especially,
who are too old not to be touched but too young to fully process, an event like
this is especially confounding and troubling. This kind of terrorism reflects a
unique combination of targeted malice and randomness. While one ponders the
nature of evil and hate, there’s also the realization, “That could have been
me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">My own response is to carry
on – refuse to be cowed, “living well is
the best revenge.” But for kids who might need some thoughtful parental
intervention, “Psychology Today” offers some excellent thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/peaceful-parents-happy-kids/201304/how-talk-your-child-about-the-tragedy-in-boston" target="_blank">Talking to your kids about tragedy...</a></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5470496335195781748.post-82799200920644285332013-04-13T08:22:00.000-07:002015-01-30T14:02:14.727-08:00BYSTANDER<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/9zr1oxEbdsw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I
love this provocative <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUj2OHLAG3w" target="_blank">new seven-minute video</a> coming out of New Zealand that
asks us to consider a disturbingly common scenario from a different viewpoint.
It follows a young woman caught up in group of partiers becoming more and more
drunk as the night goes on, while a young man bides his time until he thinks he
can move in and take advantage of her incapacitation to get lucky. It ends back
at her apartment as she is about to get sexually assaulted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">But
then it rewinds and asks “Who Are You” in this picture? As it examines the
various bystander roles in the scenario – friend, roommate, bartender, stranger
– it urges us to think about the assault in a different way. It doesn’t focus
on why it happened, but on how it could have been prevented at several points
along the way. Instead of castigating the predatory man or the young woman who
gets carried away and has way too much to drink, it asks us to put ourselves in
the shoes of any of several people who could have stepped in and stopped what
was happening, becoming someone who helped instead of someone who just stood
by. Show this to your teens…. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13698350622613346914noreply@blogger.com0