I had a difficult
conversation with my eldest recently. It had to do with reassessing her plans
if her current post-grad dreams don’t result in some form of financial
independence within a reasonable amount of time. (I keep thinking of that
delightfully cryptic Doonesbury comic where Joanie tells her son his “days as a
reality intern are over.”)
It wasn’t a conversation I
especially wanted to have, being confrontationally averse. And I didn’t take
Joanie’s hardline, no-nonsense tack. But it came as a natural segue when my
daughter mentioned some of her immediate life goals. I suggested she add to that list finding
something she really liked to do that she could ultimately parlay into work
that would sustain her financially, since her current artistic endeavors were
not likely to do that. That was met with tears of disappointment and betrayal,
with suggestions that I don’t support what she’s trying to accomplish, don’t
believe she can “make it.” It was a very tough moment. I countered with lots of
reassurance and validation of her talent. (I believe in you, but a life in
music is so difficult, the economy is so bad, blah blah blah.) But I didn’t
back down, and it left us both feeling sad.
When my younger daughter
came home awhile later and I mentioned how I was feeling and why, she saved the
day for me, helping put it all in perspective. “Mom, sometimes parents have to
say really hard things their kids don’t want to hear. But you still have to say
them. And you weren’t try to cramp her dreams, you were just trying to tell her
that she needs a realistic back-up plan.” Wow, out of the mouths of babes…
No comments:
Post a Comment